Thank God for mistakes.

I like to put my iTunes on shuffle and just let 'er rip. Whatever it plays I joyfully listen to. Several songs hit me right in a row, which really got me thinking...
The first one was "Glass in the Trees, by Dead Poetic". That song was instrumental in developing me in perhaps one of the darkest moments in my life. You can find all the lyrics here. The entire song is powerful, but the end of the song in particular was what brought me through the struggle.

We'll wait for you to come back home to the broken little foes.
Until the guilt grows and grows.
When the time that's wasted comes back to haunt me.
And I'll deserve every bit. because I'm not spiritual yet.
I'm just reading the lines they gave me from the pulpit.
And it's not fading off, we remember the years.
As we sift through the laughter to find all the tears.
And I'm not worthy of grievance, I did nothing to prevent this.
And standing at your grave, I could have caused this.

Just listening to this song took me back there. Back to the pain and the hurt. This song spurred me on, to not be like the author, to not make the same mistakes, to let God do what he wants and not get in His way.

Well, that song was followed by, this song. Which is "I so hate consequences, by Relient K". The bridge in this song took me to the result of that dark time. Allow me to post the lyrics for you.

When I got tired of running from you

I stopped right there to catch my breath

There your words they caught my ears

You said, "I miss you son. Come home"

And my sins, they watched me leave

And in my heart I so believed

The love you felt for me was more than

The love I'd wished for all this time

And when the doors were closed

I heard no I told so's

I said the words I knew you knew

Oh God, Oh God I needed you

God all this time I needed you, I needed you

Thank God for mistakes and thank God for deliverance from our own mistakes. If it weren’t for those mistakes, my life would be very different. If I had done what I should've in the first place, those mistakes never would've been made. Isn't it incredible how God can take our own stupid mistakes and turn them into something beautiful?

You intended to harm me,

but God intended it for good

to accomplish what is now being done,

the saving of many lives. -Genesis 50:20

Leave it to me to miss the point.

Last night as I drove home from a late night elders meeting, I was struggling with the usual "extrovert struggles". If you are an extreme extrovert like me, you know what I am talking about. The thoughts like "Did I say too much?" "Was that joke out of line?" "That was stupid why did I say that." "Man, that came out all wrong. That didn't sound like what I meant at all." Ever have those thoughts? Well I was in a room of men that I have a great deal of respect for, for four hours. I can barely sit still for fifteen minutes. Plus it was late! So I was at the top of my extroverted, A.D.D. game. And driving home, the enemy was really beating on me, with the thoughts mentioned above. Then the song below came on. And all of a sudden I realized that I missed the point. I missed the entire point of the "60 days of beauty project". Well maybe not the entire point... but A BIG ONE. He thinks I am beautiful. Just the way He made me. I'm a guy... I never think of myself in that light... I spend less than 30 seconds looking at myself in a mirror everyday. But He thinks I'm beautiful. Even when I'm a spaz and annoying, He thinks I'm beautiful. Even in my worst moment, He thinks I'm beautiful.

Today, may you see the beauty in yourself, the beauty that He sees.

Day 57-60 of my beautiful journey.

Ok so I know that I missed the last 3 days.

What I have come to appreciate the most over the last 60 days has been my Savior. I cannot think of anything more beautiful than him. His sacrifice, His grace, His mercy, His love. He is true beauty. Before him all things pale in comparison. So I want to dedicate the last 4 days of beauty simply to Him and specifically, the afore mention four attributes.

His sacrifice.

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

I cannot think of a time that I felt so low as the time that I came to grips with the fact that God took on flesh, came to Earth and was brutally tortured and murdered so that we might not be separated from Him for all of eternity. This price He paid, covered me, the most unworthy of the unworthy. The lowest of the low. He took me, unto himself as one of his chosen people. Knowing full well, that I would disappoint Him, that I would fail Him, that at times I would run His name through the mud. And yet, here I sit, redeemed, cleaned and made right through His sacrifice. What beauty is this, that the Son of God should die for a sinner.

His Grace.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24

I deserved death, but His sacrifice paid for my life. By His grace alone, can I stand. How is it possible that a holy and just God can look upon us, a world of depraved, disgusting humans and say "I love you." We do nothing but fall short of His standards. We lie, gossip, steal, murder and pervert everything around us. I do not stand to accuse anyone more heavily then myself. I fail to achieve His glorious standard on a minute by minute basis. Ane yet, He still came, He still died, and He still loved me. What beauty is this, that in my shame and sorrow, His grace covers me.

His Mercy.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead," 1 Peter 1:3

In His mercy He not only forgave my sins, but He has offered me a new life, a new home, and hope. Before I knew Christ, life was lived and then ended. Before I knew Christ, my only home was a dilapidated two story house. Before I knew Christ, I was doomed to die and disappear, fading into the wind like a snowflake, bright and glorious as it falls from the sky, but quickly destroyed as the suns rays beat upon its crystalized surface. Through His mercy that has all changed. Through His mercy, I have life eternal. Through His mercy, my home is greater than any ever constructed by mortal hands. Through His mercy, this world is but a temporary stop, not the final destination. In this world I am but a visitor. Through His mercy I have received a new citizenship, in a country far greater than any this universe could hold. What beauty is this, that His mercy restores me.

His Love.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Above all else, is His love. What a remarkable thing that God looked upon us and saw humanity not as a stain upon His creation, but as a treasured part of that creation. What a quandary that He looked upon us, and said "they are beautiful", when by all accounts we have done nothing but pollute and pervert His glorious creation. How breathtaking is His love. That not only does He look past our sin, but He took it from us and died with it for us. What beauty is this, that He can look upon me, and still say "I love you".

If you don't know my Savior, then you need to. He is a gentleman, He will never force Himself upon you. But know that He waits with open arms, to restore you.

Day 56 of my beautiful journey.

Yesterday I went to see a doctor. I expected and received the usual from a doctor until the end... After he had done his thing and gave me his prognosis, he asked me if he could pray for me. How awesome is that?! I mean really. When you feel sick, who better to pray for you than a doctor?! He knows what parts are busted up! LOL I say this all in jest, but it truly was beautiful. A praying doctor... who knew?

Day 52-55 of my beautiful journey.

I know I am at the end and I am lagging behind. It was a really long weekend. I had a beautiful date with my wife on Friday night. Spending time with my best friend is probably the most beautiful thing of all. I love her very much and I probably don't remind her that she is my best friend enough.

Saturday the youth group had its first tryout for the youth worship team. He did a great job. Worshiping God with others is such a beautiful thing.

Sunday night I had my weekly Life Group (small group), and it was so much fun! Hanging out with those students and laughing and learning about the word is so awesome.

Today, answered prayers and the reminder that I don't have to do this on my own was beautiful. Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to do everything myself, and Jesus says, "Justin... shut up, sit down, and let me take care of this." It's hard to let go sometimes isn't it? We want to steer the ship, but the truth of the matter is we don't know the way do we? Only our savior knows the way. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice and for taking the helm, cause without you I don't know where I am going.

.

...

Day 51 of my beautiful journey.

Anyone else remember what it was like when this movie came out?! It was epic. This theme song is still probably one of the most beautiful ever written... also you should check it out at 1/10th the time. It's pretty awesome that way too.

Day 50 of my beautiful journey.

Here comes the end Ladies and gents... 10 days left.

Yesterday I was blessed with the opportunity to spend some time with a small group of 6 senior high guys. We talked about some serious things and alot about video games hahaha! It was wonderful. These were 6 guys that I think have huge potential. I can't wait to see where God takes them.

Day 49 of my beautiful journey.

I spent most of my day today building the stage for the youth group and repairing the sound system that the youth use. It may be a bit rough, and it may even be ugly to everyone else. But to me, its beautiful. I am so excited, because I'm starting out with the same things that it took me 3 years to amass in Dodge. Where will this group be 3 years from now? Who knows, but I am excited to see it happen.

Day 45-48 of my beautiful journey.

I am ashamed of my self for missing so many days all at once lol. Derry I don't know how you have gone 48 days without skipping a beat. I made it 44 days before I missed more than one day. Pretty good for me...

Lots of beautiful things this weekend...

1.) Spending time with a really good friend of mine named Cody.

2.) Teaching the youth small group. We are travelling through the book of Genesis, which is full of some awesome stuff. Its always fun to see students start to get it, and put the pieces together.

3.) We had a child faint during the service on Sunday, that wasn't beautiful, but seeing the quick response of the congregants was.

4.) My wife is beautiful. I love her very much, and I find a great deal of joy in being with her and near her. She's pretty much awesome.

5.) Mountain Dew floats are epic.

I could probably continue going on all the beautiful things over the weekend, but I won't. Thank you Father for the beauty that surrounds me. It all comes from You and all glory to You for it.

Day 44 of my beautiful journey.

Wow, we are getting close to the end...

Today's beautiful moment was time spent with one of my best friends in the whole world, Chad Loucks. Technology is a wonderful thing and being able to spend time playing video games with him when he is 4 states away was awesome. Some of my favorite memories are of Chad and I playing video games. Late nights with a N64 and lots of mountain dew... ahh the good ol' days...

Day 43 of my beautiful journey.

I am mostly unconscious as I write this... so please forgive spelling errors and bad grammar...

The exhaustion that comes after a long day and hard work, is beautiful. I put in a lot of hours today and the thought of sleep and relaxation sounds so wonderful. It feels good to be working and working hard again. I've missed this. Thank you Father for a good day and hard work. It's all very beautiful.

Day 42 of my beautiful journey.

Ok so todays may be a little weak (alright most of mine are)...

I have been playing this game you see on the left. I will admit that this particular series of game is rather graphic at times but I play it for one main reason. The environments. Each of the three games in the series takes place in a different setting and you get to explore a different section of the world. The most recent is in Rome in the 1500's. Your character can climb and explore any and all buildings within the game. The picture here is the coliseum. I love it because you feel like you are actually there. It is breathtaking at times. The Coliseum and a ancient cathedral have been my two favorite moments in this game. I know its only a video game, but its beautiful to me.

Day 41 of my beautiful journey.

I hate snow. I hate shoveling snow. I hate the way snow makes people drive. I hate they way it makes my car look. I hate snow. It's cold and wet. I can't think of a more terrible combination. As far as I am concerned it is the real four-letter "S" word.

But I have to admit watching the flakes lazily drift down from the sky today was beautiful. Stupid snow.

Day 40 of my beautiful journey.

On the 40th day of my journey I experienced the most beautiful moment of all. But unfortunately, its none of your business. :p

Day 39 of my beautiful journey.

Between the Colts losing and being sick on my birthday, I really struggled to find something beautiful. Then I checked my facebook. :) dozens and dozens of wonderful birthday wishes. Thanks everyone. Now back to my good friend the toilet... ugh...

Day 38 of my beautiful journey.

I took this picture in may of 2010, on my trip to Cali. It has ever since been the background on my phone. It reminds me not only of my trip which was incredible, but how wonderful God's creation. :) beautiful.

Day 37 of my beautiful journey.

Ya know I'm not even sure how long it has been now, as I sit here and try to remember when my relationship with Bruce and Sue Berkey began. It has been probably close to 10 years now. But I do know one thing, that those two have changed my life more dramatically then they probably realize and more than most of the people that have invested in me over the years. I know that if I need prayer, the first person I need to call is Sue and more than once I have prayed "Lord, I need prayer right now, please let Sue know to pray for me." Bruce has provided endless wisdom to me and has helped to make me into the man that I am today. I am so thankful that the Lord brought them into my life. As I sit here and recall my many years with them and all of the wonderful times I have had with them it is very difficult to hold back the tears. They accepted me into their family as one of their own. I was invited to birthday parties, mother's day and the list could go on and on. They are beautiful people and the Lord has used them mightily in my life. Today Sue sent me a wonderful note over facebook, that reminded me just how blessed I am to have them. Beautiful.

Day 36 of my beautiful journey.

I know with out a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has called me to youth ministry. Working with students is a huge passion of mine, and tonight was the best night I have had in a long time. After a few months on hiatus from youth ministry, tonight I was finally able to start to get back into the swing of things. It's a new group of youth, with a whole new set of challenges, but I can't remember the last time I was this excited. Although I will say one thing, I totally understand what some of my mentor pastors have said in the past, there is nothing more exhausting then preaching. It exhausts you spiritually, emotionally and physically. No one that hasn't preached could ever begin to understand the exhaustion that comes after a Spirit-led lesson. It's like the Spirit's way of saying 'good job'. Tonight was beautiful. It may not have been beautiful to anyone else, but it was beautiful to me.

Day 35 of my beautiful journey.

Ok now I'm caught up!

Notes are such a beautiful thing. There is nothing quite as nice as receiving an unexpected note note left by someone that cares for you. The note on the side here was left for me by my wife. She was in my office while I was out and snuck this note onto my desk. What a beautiful surprise. I do a terrible job of this, perhaps thats something I need to work on...

Day 34 of my beautiful journey.

Ugh I missed a day. my bad.

The beautiful moment actually came last night as I was doing my nightly devotions with my wife, (which is beautiful in and of itself.)

We have been reading through 2nd Samuel. And last night we read about David running from not only his own kingdom, but his own son, Absalom. In the midst of all of this David says something incredible in verses 25 -26. He says "If the Lord sees fit, he will bring me back to see the Ark and the Tabernacle again. But if He is through with me, then let him do what seems best to him." Wow. I would've been ranting and raving. I would've been furious! But not David. I know now why he is called a man after God's heart.

beautiful.

God today make me into a man after YOUR heart.

Day 33 of my beautiful journey.

Carry-in dinners are my favorite. I love seeing the body of Christ coming together to share their recipes, and fellowship together. It is always so wonderful to be a part of. I miss the good ole' NMC C.O.R.N. nights... Chad, Brad and I used to love those nights... ahh good memories. Carry-in dinners are beautiful... and tasty too!

Day 32 of my beautiful journey.

Today as I sat on a bench at wal-mart, I started watching people as they walked in and out of the store. (I was waiting for my wife f.y.i.). There were lots of kids. My favorite kids were the ones sitting in the carts, or sleeping in the carts, lol. There was one little boy that had just entered the store and he was sitting in that little seat. He had chubby, rosy red cheeks and blue wire rim glasses and he was thrilled to be in that seat! His elated smile as he surveyed the world from this new height said it all.

Children are beautiful and I totally understand why Jesus used such strong words about protecting them.